you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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