Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
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I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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