I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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