i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
