He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
where does the pee come out of this thing
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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