nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
