I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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