I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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