hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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