Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
