I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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