I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
