i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize