Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
