why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
