i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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