It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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