We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
