Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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