The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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