I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
