wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
