Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Randomize
