Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
