My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
