Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
