Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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