Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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