Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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