My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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