I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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