I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
