neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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