Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
