Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
