I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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