? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Drake has all the answers
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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