I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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