Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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