You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
