It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
