She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize