she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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