He is an equal opportunity slut.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Randomize
