Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
