Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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