Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
