i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
