Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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