I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
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