evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
she looked like the before picture.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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