New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
