This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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