I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
