Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
They are going to name an STD after you.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
