he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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