I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
