Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
