I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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