I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
