Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
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you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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