I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
honey bunches of taint.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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