I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
