We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
