I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
