You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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